Common Causes of Divorce
by James Walsh on 2007-11-19
Divorce can occur due to many causes, ranging from extra-marital affairs to emotional abuse. The most common reasons that push the partners toward a final parting are given below.
Extra-marital Affairs
The modern lifestyle is drastically different from what was prevailing just 50 years ago. One of the major reasons for this is the revolution in transport and telecom devices. Today, it is easy to keep in touch with anyone anywhere through phone or email.
Also, people have their personal vehicles and can travel around a lot. Due to these factors and others such as liberation of women, there is a great opportunity today to indulge in extra-marital affairs. These have now become a major reason why people go for divorce. Infidelity is a very serious breach of faith between the partners and few marriages are able to emerge unscathed from such an episode.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is a very depressing thing to happen to a marriage. In this, the physically stronger partner – mostly the husband – develops a pattern of violence. He beats his wife with hands or objects, verbally assaults her and pushes her around. Sometimes, this results in serious injuries such as broken arms, smashed heads or fractured fingers.
Quite a few victims of physical abuse carry its tell-tale marks all their lives. It is not necessary for physical abuse to be direct. It can be vicarious too through beating someone the victim loves, such as a pet or child. Divorce is the only answer to chronic physical abuse in a relationship.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is an assault on the mind of the victim. This is much more deadly than physical abuse. This is because the scars of the latter may heal with time, but the mental damage done by emotional abuse rarely heals, if ever.
Such behaviour includes taunts, constant criticism or rebuking, verbal assaults, unreasonable restrictions on one’s movements, not allowing a person to grow or accept responsibilities according to his or her age and other behaviour designed to strip the victim of all self-esteem or assertiveness. The result of living with someone who is an emotional abuser is that one is reduced to a nervous wreck. Divorce provides an easy escape from the situation.
Financial Scarcity
When people get married, they have certain dreams and aspirations from the new relationship that they want fulfilled. Marriage is the beginning of a new chapter in life and both the partners are excited about all the things to come. They want to buy a house of their own and fill it up with good things of life. They want to maintain a decent living standard and give good education to their children.
The problem arises when the family income is less than what is needed to meet the aspirations of the partners. This chronic scarcity of finances gradually spoils the whole atmosphere and there are frequent quarrels and bad blood in the house. Often, divorce is the result.
Infertility
It is a natural human urge to have children and begin a family of one’s own. For women, motherhood has a certain irresistible charm. It leads to a feeling of fulfilment. For fathers, children are a welcome responsibility. In the initial years of marriage, the young couple may not feel the need of having children, but as middle age approaches, an emotional void gets created in life. Then one feels the need for having children.
However, there are many medical conditions that prevent a couple from fulfilling this dream. Male impotency or the inability of the female to conceive, both can contribute to this. Some partners feel very strongly about having children and prefer to divorce infertile partners and enter new relationships.
Incompatible Personalities
For a marriage to be successful over a long period of time, it is essential that there be a close chemistry between the partners. Their personalities should be compatible. They should have similar family and educational backgrounds as well as tastes and intellect.
Most of all, they should not persist with habits that annoy each other. If the personalities of the partners do not match, there is a large chance of boredom and extra-marital affairs in the relationship. The incompatible spouses may after some years decide to part ways and explore fresh relationships in their lives.
Extra-marital Affairs
The modern lifestyle is drastically different from what was prevailing just 50 years ago. One of the major reasons for this is the revolution in transport and telecom devices. Today, it is easy to keep in touch with anyone anywhere through phone or email.
Also, people have their personal vehicles and can travel around a lot. Due to these factors and others such as liberation of women, there is a great opportunity today to indulge in extra-marital affairs. These have now become a major reason why people go for divorce. Infidelity is a very serious breach of faith between the partners and few marriages are able to emerge unscathed from such an episode.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is a very depressing thing to happen to a marriage. In this, the physically stronger partner – mostly the husband – develops a pattern of violence. He beats his wife with hands or objects, verbally assaults her and pushes her around. Sometimes, this results in serious injuries such as broken arms, smashed heads or fractured fingers.
Quite a few victims of physical abuse carry its tell-tale marks all their lives. It is not necessary for physical abuse to be direct. It can be vicarious too through beating someone the victim loves, such as a pet or child. Divorce is the only answer to chronic physical abuse in a relationship.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is an assault on the mind of the victim. This is much more deadly than physical abuse. This is because the scars of the latter may heal with time, but the mental damage done by emotional abuse rarely heals, if ever.
Such behaviour includes taunts, constant criticism or rebuking, verbal assaults, unreasonable restrictions on one’s movements, not allowing a person to grow or accept responsibilities according to his or her age and other behaviour designed to strip the victim of all self-esteem or assertiveness. The result of living with someone who is an emotional abuser is that one is reduced to a nervous wreck. Divorce provides an easy escape from the situation.
Financial Scarcity
When people get married, they have certain dreams and aspirations from the new relationship that they want fulfilled. Marriage is the beginning of a new chapter in life and both the partners are excited about all the things to come. They want to buy a house of their own and fill it up with good things of life. They want to maintain a decent living standard and give good education to their children.
The problem arises when the family income is less than what is needed to meet the aspirations of the partners. This chronic scarcity of finances gradually spoils the whole atmosphere and there are frequent quarrels and bad blood in the house. Often, divorce is the result.
Infertility
It is a natural human urge to have children and begin a family of one’s own. For women, motherhood has a certain irresistible charm. It leads to a feeling of fulfilment. For fathers, children are a welcome responsibility. In the initial years of marriage, the young couple may not feel the need of having children, but as middle age approaches, an emotional void gets created in life. Then one feels the need for having children.
However, there are many medical conditions that prevent a couple from fulfilling this dream. Male impotency or the inability of the female to conceive, both can contribute to this. Some partners feel very strongly about having children and prefer to divorce infertile partners and enter new relationships.
Incompatible Personalities
For a marriage to be successful over a long period of time, it is essential that there be a close chemistry between the partners. Their personalities should be compatible. They should have similar family and educational backgrounds as well as tastes and intellect.
Most of all, they should not persist with habits that annoy each other. If the personalities of the partners do not match, there is a large chance of boredom and extra-marital affairs in the relationship. The incompatible spouses may after some years decide to part ways and explore fresh relationships in their lives.
About The Author: James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk