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Have you ever tried to be something you weren’t? Maybe you’ve made an attempt to be happy when you were feeling less than joyful. The results are usually far from what we were hoping to accomplish. In fact, in the case of emotional states and feelings, trying to feel a certain way will often times send us in the opposite direction. Why is that? Perhaps you can remember when you were a child sitting for your school pictures, and the photographer said to you, “Say cheese.” Why didn’t they simply tell you to smile? You already know the answer; when someone makes a request that you smile, it suddenly becomes difficult.

Conversely, when an unhappy parent or teacher glared at you and said, “You better wipe that smile off your face!” not only did the smile become almost impossible to prevent, you may have even started laughing. What’s going on here? Let me ask you, where does your mind go when I say, “ Don’t think of Donald Duck!” …………..let me guess, you thought of Donald Duck, right? The same thing happens when we think about not smiling; we have to think of smiling, to know what we’re not supposed to think about.

When we are trying to be happy, what is the implication? It implies that we are currently unhappy, angry, frustrated, or in one of the other countless “negative” states. Therefore, we are generally spending all of our time thinking about the mood, state, or feeling we are trying to get out of…..which simply causes us to access it more fully.

Gratitude is the way out of this mess; when we have immersed ourselves completely in thinking about the things we are thankful for, we aren’t trying to do anything, we are being what is flowing through us in the moment. You can start by thinking about the people in your life you are thankful for; who are the people that when you think about them, your chest feels warm? Did you have to try to feel that when you were thinking about them? If it was someone you are truly thankful for, those feelings were automatic.

Understandably, the list of things you can think of that you are thankful for is endless. The message however, is very brief and concise; Stop trying to feel happy, and simply step into the magic of gratitude. You’ll be amazed at the difference 10 minutes of being thankful each day will do. In fact, I think you’ll be thankful that you’re doing so.