Is becoming a Single Parent a valid reason against Divorce?
by jameswalsh on 2007-09-23
Poverty and Single Parent Families
About a quarter of two-parent families were below poverty level, in contrast to more than 70% in the case of single-parent families around the beginning of the twenty-first century. Though the condition has improved since then, the trends are still the same. A car, a computer, and internet connectivity at home are still not very encouraging among these families. Insurance and saving levels are also much lower than two-parent units. It should also be noted here, as a mark of respect to the human spirit, that single parents spend as much as their better-off counterparts on their children, often going without meals themselves.
Full time employment among single parents is still very low in the UK compared to other EU nations like France and Sweden. Educational qualification is not very high either, with most of the women still struggling with their higher/further study programmes. Most live in rented apartments and cannot afford private property. In a nutshell, the picture is demoralising enough.
The Single Mother
In 2005, the census counted 1.9 million single parents in the UK, with 3.1 million children. About a quarter of families with dependant children were single-parent. And only 9% of the entire single-parent population were fathers.
The statistics are staggering enough. Who are these women shouldering such heavy burdens? While there are a large number of unmarried women with children, it is a fact that the majority are divorced mothers. While the state does give Income Support and Working Tax Credit to help out low-paid and inadequately employed people, these women do have to struggle to make ends meet and put their children through school. The challenges faced by them are compounded by the fact that the rate of mental disorders, drop-outs, drug abuse and vandalism are higher among their children than those with a more stable familial support.
Divorce and the Single Parent
Do the challenges of bringing up a child alone deter couples from going for a divorce? While the ethnic backgrounds play a major role in determining this, the overall response is yes; single parenting is a key factor in barring divorce. It is interesting that in the UK, according to the 2005 statistics, some 86% of single parents were whites. This is an important indication. In Asian families, divorce is still not so common, and in the case of couples with children, there is some amount of social pressure to keep away from divorce. On the other hand, Asian families are also more likely to care for the children in case it does happen. Lack of proper child care facilities is one of the major factors that stop people from filing for an annulment of their marriage. In 1989, the CSA (Child Support Agency) was formed and single parents received a certain amount of maintenance aid, but this is not enough to bridge the gap.
Besides, there is the added trouble of dealing with the psychological complications that occur when a child finds only one parent at home. Many children develop insecurities and psychological complications because they feel 'left out' or rejected. Another common phenomenon is self-blame, where the child starts accusing himself for mom and dad's fight, as the real reasons are beyond his grasp. With teenage children, the trauma is the highest. They had been habituated to a particular way of life when their world crumbles around them. Children sometimes miss the other parent, but are unable to voice their need. As a result, they take to destructive habits ranging from not doing the homework to drug abuse.
A single parent is naturally more prone to depressions, sleeping disorders and hypertension, faced with such terrible pressures. Things are compounded where the finances are not stable. Unfortunately, many divorced women cannot earn enough despite their capacity because of the time they have to devote to their children.
And poverty only makes things worse.
The Verdict
Single parenthood is a daunting idea, and it is best to admit that. However, if the marriage has turned too poisonous, one has to choose between the less damaging options. It is true that a harsh world is waiting for the lone parent. But it is also true that children of a war-torn household are worse off exactly because both parents are around.
About a quarter of two-parent families were below poverty level, in contrast to more than 70% in the case of single-parent families around the beginning of the twenty-first century. Though the condition has improved since then, the trends are still the same. A car, a computer, and internet connectivity at home are still not very encouraging among these families. Insurance and saving levels are also much lower than two-parent units. It should also be noted here, as a mark of respect to the human spirit, that single parents spend as much as their better-off counterparts on their children, often going without meals themselves.
Full time employment among single parents is still very low in the UK compared to other EU nations like France and Sweden. Educational qualification is not very high either, with most of the women still struggling with their higher/further study programmes. Most live in rented apartments and cannot afford private property. In a nutshell, the picture is demoralising enough.
The Single Mother
In 2005, the census counted 1.9 million single parents in the UK, with 3.1 million children. About a quarter of families with dependant children were single-parent. And only 9% of the entire single-parent population were fathers.
The statistics are staggering enough. Who are these women shouldering such heavy burdens? While there are a large number of unmarried women with children, it is a fact that the majority are divorced mothers. While the state does give Income Support and Working Tax Credit to help out low-paid and inadequately employed people, these women do have to struggle to make ends meet and put their children through school. The challenges faced by them are compounded by the fact that the rate of mental disorders, drop-outs, drug abuse and vandalism are higher among their children than those with a more stable familial support.
Divorce and the Single Parent
Do the challenges of bringing up a child alone deter couples from going for a divorce? While the ethnic backgrounds play a major role in determining this, the overall response is yes; single parenting is a key factor in barring divorce. It is interesting that in the UK, according to the 2005 statistics, some 86% of single parents were whites. This is an important indication. In Asian families, divorce is still not so common, and in the case of couples with children, there is some amount of social pressure to keep away from divorce. On the other hand, Asian families are also more likely to care for the children in case it does happen. Lack of proper child care facilities is one of the major factors that stop people from filing for an annulment of their marriage. In 1989, the CSA (Child Support Agency) was formed and single parents received a certain amount of maintenance aid, but this is not enough to bridge the gap.
Besides, there is the added trouble of dealing with the psychological complications that occur when a child finds only one parent at home. Many children develop insecurities and psychological complications because they feel 'left out' or rejected. Another common phenomenon is self-blame, where the child starts accusing himself for mom and dad's fight, as the real reasons are beyond his grasp. With teenage children, the trauma is the highest. They had been habituated to a particular way of life when their world crumbles around them. Children sometimes miss the other parent, but are unable to voice their need. As a result, they take to destructive habits ranging from not doing the homework to drug abuse.
A single parent is naturally more prone to depressions, sleeping disorders and hypertension, faced with such terrible pressures. Things are compounded where the finances are not stable. Unfortunately, many divorced women cannot earn enough despite their capacity because of the time they have to devote to their children.
And poverty only makes things worse.
The Verdict
Single parenthood is a daunting idea, and it is best to admit that. However, if the marriage has turned too poisonous, one has to choose between the less damaging options. It is true that a harsh world is waiting for the lone parent. But it is also true that children of a war-torn household are worse off exactly because both parents are around.
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