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I was invited to speak at a Victorian tea this weekend. I had been asked to wear a period costume, which the organizers rented for me. I got to pick out a lovely Victorian dress from a local costume shop. I would not have been able to choose the dress I chose if I had not had reconstructive surgery. There were other dresses I could have chosen, but this one, a bright red off the shoulder and tightly laced in the back, looked terrific on me. I wore it with a black feather boa and long black gloves. It was a spectacular event, and I rose to the occasion.

Speaking to large crowds is something I enjoy. I also train others to do it. Part of the success in my method comes with being confident in what you are wearing so that you do not have to be pulling on a hem, or praying that you do not spill out of your attire. I remember well the first few months after my mastectomy when I was only comfortable in a cami with fiberfill in place of my breast. Well, inevitably, by 3:00 p.m each day, my “breast” would be on my shoulder. Often, my youngest son, (twelve at the time), would say, “Mom, your boob is sliding up again.”

Reconstruction has been a blessing for me. I have enjoyed this hot humid summer in t-shirts and tank tops with no concern of a full bra and heavy silicone prosthesis. I know it is a little thing when you regain your health and life after surgery and treatment, but my goal is to live as outwardly unaffected by cancer as possible. It is my way of winning. A couple of weeks ago a woman in her early 60s came into my husband’s store and told me about her breast cancer. When I told her I also had battled breast cancer and had undergone reconstructive surgery, she was quite interested in the DIEP procedure. Her complaint was the discomfort in the way her clothes were fitting. Other health problems ruled out other types of reconstruction, but it was something she really wanted.

It is clear that I will require more plastic surgery to my breasts. One is considerably smaller than the other and has an indent. I just haven’t been able to schedule the final procedures. Even with these imperfections, it still makes things much easier and makes me feel more normal.