Separation Agreements – The Rights and Roles of Grandparents
by jameswalsh on 2007-09-23
Separation – Children and Relationships
A separation agreement has a clear clause that states about the custody of the children. However, it does not pay any heed to the mental trauma that the children undergo on a split up. The divorcing couples do need to realise the emotional tug of war their children might be undergoing.
Splitting can be quite disastrous because this might be the time when the child’s relationships with the world might be blooming. It can be painful for children to witness their family break. The responsibility lies with the divorcing couple to take a united stand and convince their children that there is not going to be any difference in the love that they have been receiving from both the parents.
Separation – The Untold Relationship
When a separation agreement is finalised between the couple, the focus is always on the couple and the custody of the children thereafter. But none of them ever get to think of the relationship between the grandparents and the grandchildren.
It will be quite distressing to hear a story of separation from the grandparent’s viewpoint. In majority of the cases, the grandparents are helpless as they find themselves cut off from their grandchildren. Sometimes, the parent who has the custody of the child moves away to a distant place and makes very little attempt to establish contact. At times, the custodial parent does this to punish their spouse. However, they quite fail to realise that they, in reality, are also severing the ties between the grandparents and their children. Little do they realise that this relationship is magical and that it can perform wonders.
Grandparents – The Basic Rights
Grandparents have two basic rights, or rather what we can term as a moral obligation towards the grandchildren – custody and visitation.
As part of the separation agreement, grandparents can always claim the custody of their grandchildren when the divorcing couples are in dire straits. But this would mean a lot of self-commitment from their end.
Also, in the event of one of the parents taking custody of the child, a clause can be included as part of the separation agreement on the visitation hours for the grandparents.
Separation – The Role of Grandparents
Whether stated explicitly or not, it is a well-accepted fact that children reared under the loving shadow of their grandparents or even influenced by them grow out to be better individuals of the society.
Even in a separation agreement, a clause can be included to entrust the custody of the child to one of the grandparents. This option helps in more than one way. This keeps the child away from the centre of turmoil. Further, he still feels at home with the grandparents. With the child entrusted to the custody of the grandparents, it would be easy for the non-custodial parent to make visits and thus avoid embarrassing moments.
During a separation, grandparents can play an even greater role in the upbringing of their grandchildren. It has been observed that grandparents can play the role of good friends owing to the uncanny feeling of unbound love between the old and the young. The cost of upbringing the children is borne by one of the parents which reduces a lot of stress on them.
In most cases, single parents do work full time and need to put in those extra hours at work to meet the expenses of their children. In such cases, allowing the grandparents to handle the children will be a more wise option than to allow them to grow in a remote day care unit.
Separation Agreement - The Final Call
Before forming a separation agreement, the divorcing couple need to shift their focus and pay attention to the special bonding between the generations preceding and succeeding them. Let them not become victims of the wrangle between you. Further, do not deprive them of this special bonding. This is a special way of showing your love towards both the generations – the younger and the older.
A separation agreement has a clear clause that states about the custody of the children. However, it does not pay any heed to the mental trauma that the children undergo on a split up. The divorcing couples do need to realise the emotional tug of war their children might be undergoing.
Splitting can be quite disastrous because this might be the time when the child’s relationships with the world might be blooming. It can be painful for children to witness their family break. The responsibility lies with the divorcing couple to take a united stand and convince their children that there is not going to be any difference in the love that they have been receiving from both the parents.
Separation – The Untold Relationship
When a separation agreement is finalised between the couple, the focus is always on the couple and the custody of the children thereafter. But none of them ever get to think of the relationship between the grandparents and the grandchildren.
It will be quite distressing to hear a story of separation from the grandparent’s viewpoint. In majority of the cases, the grandparents are helpless as they find themselves cut off from their grandchildren. Sometimes, the parent who has the custody of the child moves away to a distant place and makes very little attempt to establish contact. At times, the custodial parent does this to punish their spouse. However, they quite fail to realise that they, in reality, are also severing the ties between the grandparents and their children. Little do they realise that this relationship is magical and that it can perform wonders.
Grandparents – The Basic Rights
Grandparents have two basic rights, or rather what we can term as a moral obligation towards the grandchildren – custody and visitation.
As part of the separation agreement, grandparents can always claim the custody of their grandchildren when the divorcing couples are in dire straits. But this would mean a lot of self-commitment from their end.
Also, in the event of one of the parents taking custody of the child, a clause can be included as part of the separation agreement on the visitation hours for the grandparents.
Separation – The Role of Grandparents
Whether stated explicitly or not, it is a well-accepted fact that children reared under the loving shadow of their grandparents or even influenced by them grow out to be better individuals of the society.
Even in a separation agreement, a clause can be included to entrust the custody of the child to one of the grandparents. This option helps in more than one way. This keeps the child away from the centre of turmoil. Further, he still feels at home with the grandparents. With the child entrusted to the custody of the grandparents, it would be easy for the non-custodial parent to make visits and thus avoid embarrassing moments.
During a separation, grandparents can play an even greater role in the upbringing of their grandchildren. It has been observed that grandparents can play the role of good friends owing to the uncanny feeling of unbound love between the old and the young. The cost of upbringing the children is borne by one of the parents which reduces a lot of stress on them.
In most cases, single parents do work full time and need to put in those extra hours at work to meet the expenses of their children. In such cases, allowing the grandparents to handle the children will be a more wise option than to allow them to grow in a remote day care unit.
Separation Agreement - The Final Call
Before forming a separation agreement, the divorcing couple need to shift their focus and pay attention to the special bonding between the generations preceding and succeeding them. Let them not become victims of the wrangle between you. Further, do not deprive them of this special bonding. This is a special way of showing your love towards both the generations – the younger and the older.
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